A place to Connect and Heal…

Connection

There’s nothing more important than creating a space where people are able to feel safe, vulnerable and connected.

There are many things that people experience that get in the way of connecting to the person you working with in a healing space, the power in the room is one such thing; people often experience walking into a space feeling that one person is the expert. They may experience the feeling of being assessed and analysed, this impact’s a person’s sense of feeling the space we are sharing is one of genuine openness and connection.

Our nervous systems are highly attuned to seek safety where vulnerability is present, if a person is not experiencing safe connection then their nervous system is protecting them from feeling safe to share, connect and heal.

As Matt Licata points to; You don’t have to fix anyone’s problems. You don’t have to save them, heal them, or urgently get them to take on your favourite beliefs, theories, and techniques.

Just be there with them so that they feel felt and understood. When they look up at you, you are really there.

Listen, to the story they are telling you, of how they are making sense of their experience. Listen also to the somatic story, to the secret, sensitive language emerging from their body and their heart.

And also listen carefully to their story of safety and what makes them feel safe. This story is told in the language of the nervous system and will speak to you if you attune to it.

Momentarily bracket your beliefs, ideas and systems of change. With the poetic beauty and power of your mirror neuron system, enter into the miracle we-space with them, where they can know for just one moment that they are not alone.

I’m with you, I’m here. I feel you. I understand you.

Extend to them a soothed nervous system, a sanctuary of holding, a field of permission where their experience can unfold without any pressure for it to shift, change, or heal.

Remove the burden that they need to be someone or something else in order for you to stay close.

For just a few moments resist the temptation to ‘teach’ them, but instead ‘reach’ them.

The mind with doubt if this is enough… but the body knows. The heart knows.

When we are able to do this, we are in touch with the orphans of soma and psyche that dance out our own unlived life – the unmet grief, the untouched sadness, the unmetabolised rage.

If we are not in conscious, embodied, and compassionate contact with these ones, we will not be able to recognise and hold them as they surge in the interactional field, and our friend will not feel safe to access, articulate, and integrate what is alive within them.

The Other- whether manifesting outside us or taking internal form – is not in need of new information, strategies, techniques, or beliefs, but longs and burns for you… your presence, you tenderness, your raw unfiltered being, your love.